Tips for Entering a Divorce

If you’re heading into a divorce proceeding, know it’s easy to get caught up in some of the emotional trappings of family law. People in your life are going to be affected, for their sake, civility is key.

Protect the Children

When you have minors or children involved in your divorce, our strongest advice is to keep the kids out of it. Of course, let your kids know you're getting a divorce, let them know that you love them, depending on their age let them know what you’re planning on doing with concern from them. However, you don’t want to involve your children in your divorce dynamic.

We’ve seen it plenty of times, one parent will use the children as weapons or pawns against the other. Often kids are younger than ten, and they find themselves thrown into the middle of an ugly battle. Their whole life is changing. Their parents getting a divorce. They need empathy and a safe place to explore the feelings THEY have about this, and shouldn’t have to shoulder the burden of choosing between the two most trusted people in their lives. Protecting and safeguarding children is the one of the most important things in a divorce or separation. Peaceful co-parenting is not only possible, is it paramount to the well-being of the children.

Keep it Classy

You may have a lot of negative experiences and thoughts associated with your ex-spouse. Please, don’t use Facebook rants or any other social media to disparage, bully or harass the other party. Don’t complain about them to their family members, don’t let your family members start fights with theirs. The last thing you want is your parent’s in-law publicly fighting or embarrassing each other.

This matter is between the two of you. Yes, divorce proceedings are deeply personal and stressful. Ranting in the name of self-care may help you, or it may just be something you can’t avoid, but please, keep it to a minimum and with trusted counsel. You can get through this without publicly embarrassing each other.

Verbal attacks will just make the situation worse, and set you back emotionally and possibly legally. You may heighten the animosity, break off valuable relationships, spoil support networks or alienate your children. If your situation is already dire, there’s no point in exacerbating it. If it’s fairly amicable, work hard to keep it that way.

Divorce is complicated and deeply personal, but it is imperative that you protect your other relationships and safeguard your children and family members so that everyone can move on in a positive manner. You don’t have to go through this alone. Call our office and let us help you through this with your dignity and integrity intact.

For more information on family law, feel free to contact Vagovic Law at